It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
