i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm at about main and main street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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