it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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