Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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