I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
