The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
