Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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