xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
