we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
