She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
