I just pynch a tree in the face
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
