How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
