oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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