ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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