I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
