"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
