Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
