I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Randomize
