I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
