id be glad to
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
