Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Randomize
