she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
