If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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