question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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