Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
