cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Randomize
