a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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