I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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