How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
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