matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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