you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
