i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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