so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We have so much sex to catch up on
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
