I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
