I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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