quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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