I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize