Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
