youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
