I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
