wat bout pragnant strippers??
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
