I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
