he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
