i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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