i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
