Can Purell be used as lube?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
