Non-Jews are for practice
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The beer is more important than you right now.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
