Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i will never coherently bang her
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
