insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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