shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
