I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
