that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
