that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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