I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
