Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
