ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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