There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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