She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
