You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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