I think I just saw someone hide a body.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
