Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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