Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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