it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize