Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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